Throw the sharp pointy thing at the monster, dummy!



Holy Shit! I never had this, to E-Bay stat!



In 1983 a movie came out that I went absolutely bat shit over. You might guess Return of the Jedi, Scarface, WarGames, Trading Places or even Mr. Mom was that film. Maybe even a little film like Yor, Hunter From the Future might be your answer. Well I'm here to tell you you're wrong, all wrong. My forbidden love is non other than Krull, that's right I said Krull! I don't want to here how it's a rip off of this or a rip off of that, Krull is king baby! It's got the Glaive for fucks sake, the most badassed, under used weapon in movie history. The Beast, our terrible villain, is awesome and his minions, the Slayers are amazing. The only thing better would be if the Slayers were played by Slayer! The plot is simple, boy meets girl, girl gets kidnapped by horny monster's friends, boy goes after girl but has a hard time finding her because the bad guys house moves around every five minutes. Finally he finds her and they live happily ever after or something. The two leads Prince Colwyn and Princess Lyssa never amounted to much, but you can see a young Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane as the feisty convicts who help save the day. The soundtrack is epic and great and elevated this beyond your ordinary chesseball fantasy. I remember watching a segment about the making of Krull on Standby: Lights, Camera, Action! and being transfixed. It was a Nickelodeon show that featured effects heavy movies. Krull and The Thing were two segments that I remember being terrific. My obsession with Krull went beyond the movie as I collected the comic book adaption and the board game. I guess I was a real Krull nerd. Oddly, I don't own Krull. I guess I enjoy finding it somewhere on cable. It's like coming across an old friend and saying "Hello old friend, it's time to watch a cyclops throw pitchforks at monsters". Good times.